I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
