i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
