he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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