Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
