come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
