I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
