Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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