quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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