I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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