Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
