So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Randomize
