I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize