Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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