overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
