Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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