is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
