doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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