Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
