I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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