oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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