It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
