Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
