Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i will never coherently bang her
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Randomize
