Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
