Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Two words: nipple clamps
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