Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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