There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
