Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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