It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
