I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
