How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
