she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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