Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
