It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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