hotel room ftw
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Randomize
