just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
