I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
