Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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