Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
