there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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