Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
She even gives head with a lisp.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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