She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
