she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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