Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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