honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Randomize
