We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
