Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
What a dumb baby whore.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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