i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I supernannyed him into submission
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
