At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
