Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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