We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
