Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
