you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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