Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
