I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
