I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
where are my eyebrows?
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