She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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