Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
