Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
