uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
So vagazzling was a success
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
