the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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